I love Psychology and I meet different people in these online groups. A couple of weeks ago, I met a man who loved Jesus like crazy, had a zeal for life and working for Jesus at all costs. I hadn’t quite met anyone before that had his energy. Over a couple of weeks we got chatting and before long he was calling me Sweetness and Babe and pushing to start arranging an evangelistic tour through Brazil with a camera crew. ..
Usually I would have loved this zeal but it all came too soon. The more I observed, the more I realised that although he loved the Lord, I sensed he had very little peace. He was still broken over different stories and so, before things went too far, I ended our online chats and told him we wouldn’t be moving forward romantically. In response he reacted exactly the way I suspected he would. He got upset, defensive and blamed me for allowing him to open up far too much and then blocked me for good.
One of the things that raised questions for me was his refusal to let others, other than God give him advice or prayer when he felt he personally had a direct line to the Holy Spirit. He said he didn’t need anyone else. He had a strong set of judgments against churches that weren’t good enough and encouraged his followers to stay away from such places. 3 years ago, I would have been championing him until Jesus showed me the key to peace and deep inner healing.
In response I offered up various bible verses that supported how much God wanted us to rely on each other for ministry and healing and to be spoken by him through others (ie: James 5:16, Galatians 6:2). His response was to fire back verses that contradicted mine.
Sigh.
Since the Lord brought me back home after a 25-year prodigal journey, I’ve tried to explain to quite a few people now that there is nothing anyone can pray for the other to be the way they want them to be. It just doesn’t work that way. Our job as Christians is to recognise the triggers others create in us and ask God to show what fault we have as to why that is happening. You say ‘Oh but he abused me, he said terrible things etc.” I never said we have to stay but we do have to forgive. Jesus was mocked, beaten, nailed and crucified to the cross and yet he only turned to the Father in forgiveness for them all. He didn’t say “God stop them from being a dick.” He loved regardless and he went to the cross pure and holy and exactly in reference to who we have been told to imitate. Then he sent his Holy Spirit to do the work in those who had treated him badly.
Doesn’t it make sense marriages would operate this way also? In Proverbs 31 type Facebook groups I read posts that say ” Please prayer warrior ladies pray for my husband who drinks too much and is lazy or watches porn etc etc”. Then hundreds of comments follow praying for her terrible husband. They don’t realise the supernatural power to heal their husbands is in asking God to forgive themselves of their own judgements. Long story short but by doing so it opens the door to supernaturally transforming their husbands for what they would have been asking for anyway. It also gives the wife a clearer perspective on what role they themselves played in the issues if there were any. This may have left you scratching your head but there’s a whole bunch of theology to continue this conversation with – I’ve added an intro to Elijah House Ministries who work on this if you want to know more.
This is how it all works. It’s right there in the Bible laid out for us in plain sight and yet we just don’t do it. Unhappy marriages go round and round in circles. I mean who am I to say right? I still havent had a successful relationship but I’m thankful God is highlighting very quickly the red flags saving me from repeating cycles.
Praise God for finally releasing me of generational curses. Before I would have run without blinking into the arms of this very handsome man but now I believe I’ve been given the gift of discernment and I am free! I’m not going back.
I Am The Woman At The Well 