Not so long ago, I had a life knock back that left me reliving all the fears I had on that awful day I returned back to my Saviour in desperation three years ago. But this time it was different because ultimately I knew God would pull me through. That somehow, this pain was just a redirectional flag towards his actual purpose.
I knew ultimately this undoing had been my fault. So caught up in preparing for the life change, I rarely checked in with Jesus and the whole time, I could hear his whispers saying ‘what about me?”
My close friend said when it happened “it all seemed too good to be true”. I had just given up my home, said goodbye to everyone, made elaborate promises to the kids about where this new adventure would take us and then suddenly out of the blue, the day before I was due to fly out, the plug was pulled. I was exhausted, humiliated and now had no job. My children saw this as yet another failure. I didn’t know where to put myself. I didn’t want to be in my body. I wanted this day to just go away with me in it.
In a battle of emotional conflict, tears literally drenching my clothes through the day and my pillow at night I venomously yelled at my God for setting this up but at the same time knowing from my past, that deep down, I was actually the one I should be yelling at.
This war of the mind went on for days and then I remembered the Bible verse cards for every circumstance I had found on the day I was packing up my belongings. When my marriage had ended, these cards had pulled me through.
Now, so hurt, I couldn’t open my Bible but I could read these. Cards that do it all for you. Verses you can apply when you don’t have the strength to go looking for them. When you just can’t, these cards stand in the gap.
As the days went by I declared the verses reading them out loud. I gradually became stronger and eventually The Lord showed me my own failures giving strength to apply forgiveness to the person who had taken everything away.
New doors are already opening again. Jesus has us and we’re always ok. I said to another close friend once that it doesn’t matter if these things keep happening, it’s not our home anyway. For a moment in time, I’d much rather be honed and refined through heartache on earth than miss out on getting even closer to the throne room in Heaven, forever.
Praise God.
I Am The Woman At The Well 