My Other Half

I met someone a while ago online and we ended up dating (mostly online)In the end he finished our relationship because I wasn’t making him a priority. He was right. He was so good for me though, in every way. He was grounding, intelligent and kind and Jesus was as important to him as he was to me. I’ve never had a relationship with someone like that before and I valued what we had and I still do. For a clean cut, we’re not friends anymore  and I  do miss turning to him for advice. He had become my best friend.

The thing is though,  the calling God has placed on my life is very clear but this person was in a place of no man’s land. He didn’t know where God needed him to be and he was strong headed enough to not let me convince him to jump in to something he had no peace being.

I realised after this relationship that if I couldn’t make it with someone like him who would I be able to make it with? My focus on God’s calling comes with so much passion and vigour. I can’t do what he’s given me in half measures.  Unless a partners vision is aligned with mine, regardless of who I’m with, they will always be left behind.

I really don’t want to be alone forever though but now that’s a big reality question I’m having to face.

The other day as the bills came in I lay at night looking at the ceiling wishing I could have someone to share the load with. After my financial history with men I would be very reluctant to depend solely on a husband in that way again, but life is always easier financially in twos. I prayed then and there, if living this life alone is your will for me, be my Other Half, step up and help me get through being a student and a mum. It’s not fair to ask me to do all this by myself and not help through these times. I’ve done everything you ask of me. I praise you I thank you and I ask you to please please help me today with my finances.

The next day I went to my unpaid internship and out of the blue my boss handed me a 2-hour job that paid a hundred dollars. My bills were much bigger but I knew that was Jesus saying “I heard you”.

So for all of us fighting this journey alone, let that encourage us . It’s certainly been a lesson for me. I don’t know what the future will bring, all I know is everything is in God’s hands and where ever he takes me after this degree, it will be perfect.  xxx